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Why Do Marriages Fail?
There was a time when the home
was spoken of in terms of fidelity, honor and respect. More prevalent
today is the home characterized by the broken hearts of marriages that
no longer remain. The stain of tears fall upon pillows of sorrow daily
as young love and not so young love has turned to disregard, disrespect
and failing love in multitudes of homes. It is the norm that in every
family there is the blight of broken marriages. Children are less likely
to grow up in a home that is strong and vibrant with the foundation of a
nurturing mother and father in a day when divorce is rampant. Man has
turned on himself to destroy himself. When the home is broken, the
nation is broken.
"For I hate divorce," says the Lord, the God of Israel, "and him
who covers his garment with wrong," says the Lord of hosts. "So take
heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously" (Malachi 2:16).
I doubt many people take heed to what the Lord says about divorce or
there would not be so many today. Billboards should line the highways
with this proclamation. But it would be of no avail. It has been in the
word of God for over two thousand years and yet man persists on
destroying the home and family by divorce.
Marriages fail for many reasons. The central reason marriages fail
is selfishness. The selfish attitude of one who is seeking their own
interest or happiness will bring a marriage to an end. This is self-love
or self-preference to gain the wants and desires of ones own interest.
This can lead to infidelity and the desire to find self-worth in someone
else. Selfish motives lead couples to argue and fight and destroy the
marriage.
The command of the Lord is to “Do nothing from selfishness or
empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more
important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal
interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).
Marriages are destroyed for lack of humility, regard for one another and
a deep seeded desire to seek the personal interest of self rather than
the spouse. Conceit drives the passions to reject the pattern of the
Lord for the selfish motives of the flesh.
Marriages are destroyed because Christ is not the center of the
marriage. Any marriage will have difficult times and without God’s help,
there is no help. Putting the Lord first in the marriage will not allow
for selfish reasons to be put before the other in demanding their rights
in the marriage. Paul admonished the Philippians in Philippians
2:5-11 to have the mind of Christ. Husbands and wives must have that
in their marriages. The command for husbands to love their wives as
Christ loved the church is not a passing suggestion (Ephesians 5).
If a man
or woman desires to walk in love (Ephesians 5:1-6), walk in the
light (Ephesians 5:7-14) and walk in wisdom (Ephesians
5:15-21) they must fulfill the whole law and walk in the marriage
pattern described by God in Ephesians 5:22-33.
Worldliness and the pursuit of money is the great home wrecker.
Money causes the heads of husbands and wives to fill with a maddening
desire to have more. While the gains of the world are achieved the loss
of the home is realized - and for what? Thirty pieces of silver is all
they get (1 Timothy 6). Marriages fail because we fail. Marriages
succeed because we fail and the Lord picks us up and helps us keep
going. Trust in HIM!
----Kent Heaton
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